SOUL CONNECTION: October 2008

Fostering Compassion with Children through Reiki

The issue of bullying has become a serious concern for children these days. We need to make sure our own children do not grow up to be bullies. We also need to be sure they have the tools and support they need if they become the victim of bullies.Your child may be embarrassed or feel weak by admitting he or she is the victim of a bully. Signs to look for include the sudden appearance of bruises, missing belongings, or creating excuses or illness to avoid going to school.
Bullying can take many forms and often verbal harassment or threatening is often overlooked. When I was a child we used to say, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I would say this with great bravado, but inside I was hurt or perhaps humiliated by the unkind words or actions of another child. Inside hurts can be just painful as cuts and bruises. Anyone who bullies, threatens or hurts another child needs to be approached with love and a strong message that their behaviour is not appropriate. As well making sure that our own children and grandchildren do not grow up to be bullies, we need instil upon them that it is not okay to stand by and do nothing while another child is being bullied or harassed.
You can help you child by making sure that your school is supportive to your children and provides a responsible adult to report incidents to as well as a safe place to go to within the school if they need help. They should be encouraged to stand up for any child who is being bullied and given methods to assist without having to resort to violence.
One of my favourite stories of courage is about a grade nine student in a rural school in Nova Scotia, Canada, who was harassed and made fun of on the first day of school because he wore a pink shirt. He was called homosexual and six older boys threatened to beat him up simply because he wore a pink shirt. That night another boy in the same school got on the internet and asked all the kids at school to wear a pink shirt to school the next day. Then he went out and purchased 75 pink tank tops for the boys as well as pink material for armbands and headbands. He passed them out in the lobby before school and it was estimated that over half the school wore pink that day including the boy who was originally threatened.
This story is a strong indication of how children can stand up for each other without perpetrating further violence. The children who come to my Reiki Kids classes often feel isolated and different because they are sensitive and experience the world in a different way. They may be often clairvoyant or clairsentient. They love the Reiki Kids classes because they attract other children who possess similar qualities and it helps to let them know that there are other children like them. A bully uses this sensitivity to try to disempowered these lovely children.
When I am working with children I like to teach them ways of using Reiki to deal with bullying and harassment. They need to know it is okay to be different and individual so they do not shut down their ability. If they feel threatened they can visualize themselves surrounded in Reiki light. Rather than retreating or retaliating they can offer a blessing or compliment to the offender.Children who bully often do so because they feel powerless or have been the victim of bullying themselves or witness it within their own homes. Have the child understand that someone who is mean and intimidating often does it out of their own insecurity. Sending Reiki or being nice to a bully is an unexpected way of dealing with them.
I encourage children to offer Reiki to anyone who is frightened or has been hurt. Because of bullying it is unfortunate that many schools have to implement a “Hands off” policy where any type of touch is not tolerated. Beaming Reiki or sending it with the eyes as in the Japanese Reiki method of Gyoshi-ho is a perfect solution to any hands off policy which might be in place.In this technique you simply soften the eyes, meditate on the Reiki energy and softly gaze at the place you want to send Reiki to. Allow yourself to be relaxed and slightly defocused as you allow Reiki to flow. A few minutes of sending Reiki this way can bring a large amount of comfort to the person who is receiving it. The other benefit is that the sender also feels better. When we are able to assist with Reiki we do not feel helpless. It is a very empowering feeling to be able to do something, which is helpful and non invasive.
In the past, Reiki Teachers have given their students stern warnings about sending Reiki without permission. First of all I feel it is important not to touch another person without asking for permission, but when we send Reiki and are not touching it is like sending that person a special prayer. I do not call someone to ask permission when I say a prayer for them and I feel sending Reiki is very similar to sending a prayer. Every individual has free will and will receive only what they choose to. It is the same with Reiki. If a person wants it, they will receive it. If they are not receiving it, I usually just get bored and stop doing it. You cannot impose upon or harm another person with an energy which causes no harm.
Bullies often feel powerless or have been the victim of bullying themselves or witness it within their own homes. Have the child understand that someone who is mean and intimidating often does it out of their own insecurity and fear. While they may have developed many ways to intimidate another person, it is usually because they feel unloved and lack self esteem. Being nice to a bully is an unexpected way of dealing with them and there is a good chance they will respond to people in a kinder way if they are treated with compassion. Situations where a child is bullied and feels powerless would be to encourage the child to send Reiki to the bully. They may be reluctant and question why they should send Reiki to someone who is being cruel to them, but if they can be convinced to do it they will be pleasantly surprised at how it will shift the energy between them and the perpetrator. A creative way to use Reiki would be to have the child create a drawing of the bully and themselves in a more positive relationship and have them bean Reiki to the picture they have drawn.Teach your child tolerance, equality and friendship among all people regardless of any differences they have. If children understand the value of individuality they will not be controlled or intimidated by anyone trying to control them by making fun of them for being different or doing things in their own way. Give your child lots of praise and encouragement when he or she finds peaceful solutions to confrontational situations.
My son was hit in the face and had his nose broken by a bully when he was in high school. I was called to the school. I picked him up and took him to hospital where we were met by a police officer. The officer talked to my son, he let him know he had every right to have the perpetrator charged and encouraged him to do so.
Later when I attended the court hearing for this boy, it came out that he already had quite a few other incidents of violence on his record. The policeman, who had met us at the hospital, later told us that legally he could not tell us about the previous record but that he was glad we went ahead with the charges because this boy had been harassing and assaulting many others for a long time. He had been protected from many of these charges under the young offenders act, but now he was old enough to be criminally charged. I remember sitting in the court room looking over at his mother. She looked so sad, disappointed and afraid for her son. I felt such compassion for her, as one mother to another. She could not even bring herself to look at me. Later that night, when my husband asked me what this kids parents looked like, I told him, “His mother looked like any other mother who was embarrassed and saddened by her son’s violent behaviour.”
My sons friends wanted to go beat-up this kid in retaliation for what he did to my son, but he convinced them it was not a good idea since it would not solve the problem. My son and I talked about how sad and lonely the boy who hit him must be and we speculated that perhaps he did this because he had experienced violence or neglect while he was growing up. Then with compassion in our hearts we sent him and his family Reiki.

Bullying is a serious matter. In a 2001 study by the Kaiser Foundation in conjunction with Nickelodeon TV network and Children Now, 86% of children ages 12–15 interviewed said they get teased or bullied at school––making bullying more prevalent than smoking, alcohol, drugs, or sex among the same age group. An article in the Ottawa Citizen on August 28, 2008, Wendy Craig, Scientific co-director,Promoting Relationships Eliminating Violence Network, states that, “Children and youth affected by bullying demonstrate poor attitudes, absenteeism, low grades, and high levels of drug and alcohol use. Those who bully are at risk for later criminality. Bullying should be recognized as a significant public health problem that undermines the healthy development of children and youth. Adults are responsible for the development, safety and well being of our children. This vital role requires courage, perseverance, and includes preventing bullying, and promoting healthy relationships among children and youth.”Reiki offers many wonderful ways to empower children and their families, so that this can be solved with non-violence and constructive alternatives.
If you are a Reiki Master you might want to consider attuning your children and grandchildren to Reiki and when they are ready, teaching them how to use the Distance symbol and the Mental Emotional symbol to create a positive new behaviour. The Mental emotional symbol balances the right and left brain replacing feelings of, anger, fear and depression with peace and harmony.Children are born loving and innocent. We must look at the ways that we can nurture and foster compassion with this love and light we call “Reiki”.

Barbara McKell, RT CRA, KRM.
Barbara Mckell is an Intuitive Healer and teaching Reiki Master in Guelph Ontario Canada. She is the founder and President of Soul Connection Inc. and the creator of the Reiki Kids program.Barbara can be contacted by email at barbara@soulconnection.ca
www.reikids.ca
www.soulconnection.ca
For more information and assistance with bullying:Websites: http://www.bullying.org http://loveourchildrenusa.org/bullying.php
Books: I Can Show I Care, Compassionate Touch for Children by Susan CottaBullyproof Your Child for Life by Joel Haber The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence by Barbara Coloroso

SOUL CONNECTION

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

October 2008

About Me

Blog Archive